Ownership of Intellectual Property and further use:

All material found herein is either outright owned by the author, and therefore protected under United States and International Copyright law; or the licensed trademark or copyright holders.

Restrictions:

This site is void where prohibited, and not void where not prohibited. It is for private, public, and domestic use only. You may not post on this site, or sell through this site, any item that could cause us to violate any applicable law, statute, ordinance or regulation, United Nations declaration, or Asimov's Law's of Robotics. This also applies to any live animals, human beings or body parts, soiled undergarments, bulk email lists, switchblades, and automatic weapons such as AK-47s.

Linking to this site:

You may link to this site only using the home page URL, currently: http://www.azcompuguy.com

You may NOT link to individual graphics or images on this site. Aside from intellectual property concerns, it's not nice for other practical reasons. Nor may you appropriate my graphics for your own use. If you're going to steal them regardless of what I say then you're going to get very bad karma and wind up being reborn as Bill Clinton's infamous cigar in your next life.

External Links from this site:

This website contains links to other Websites on the Internet. When they were linked to, we did it in good faith because they contained appropriate or relevant information related to the topic at hand. However external websites are run by other people or organizations. Which means that myself or azcompuguy.com cannot be held responsible for what they might contain, or for if their content changes after we do so. Believe it or not, I don't get up each morning and rush to check every hyperlink on this site. - It'd take me until bedtime; which would make my life a little pointless.

If you find a crappy or dead link on this site, please let me know via my site webmaster's address.

Privacy Statement:

No information about visitors attained through their use of this website is released knowingly to any outside parties without the user's consent. Period.

Warranty:

This home page is offered on an “AS IS” basis, without any warranty, whether oral or written, express or implied, including, but not limited to; the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement. In no event will azcompuguy.com or its author(s) be liable for special, incidental, accidental, or consequential, damage resulting from possession, misinterpretation, downloading, use or malfunction of this home page; including: damage to property, damages for personal injury, lost revenues, lost profits, loss of virginity, loss of reputation, or loss of prospective economic advantage, resulting from or arising from the use or misuse of this this site or it's contents, and to the extent permitted by law, damages caused by random inadvertent impotence or pestilence, even if I have been advised of the possibility of such damage by another party, and especially if I was not invited to said party.

Some specific acts are expressly not covered; THIS WARRANTY DOES NOT COVER : misuse, accident, lightning, floods, tornadoes, solar flares, tsunami, volcanic eruptions, extraterrestrial impact, earthquakes, supernovas, hurricanes, other Acts of God, neglect, extraterrestrial intervention, damage from improper or unauthorized use, incorrect line voltage and/or frequency, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, bad karma, chemical reactions, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom shock waves, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, incidents owing to an airplane crash; Divine intervention, revelation, or meddling by Satan (or his minions); ship sinking or taking on water, appearances of an evil twin (or triplet) from a parallel universe, motor vehicle crashing, explosive decompression, hard vacuum, dropping the item, falling rocks, falling anything, falling on rocks, falling on anything (including bending over in the shower to pick up the soap), lighting your own farts (or ours); caustic chemicals, napalm, leaky roofs, broken glass, closed time-like curvatures or other space-time anomalies (whether created by self, or other third-party including ourselves), magnetic fields, laser or other energy weapons, sub-atomic particle bombardment, emissions of x-rays, microwave, ultraviolet, cosmic, and/or gamma rays; wormholes, black holes or other space-time singularities; mud slides, forest fires, spontaneous combustions, improbable quantum field fluctuations, alien abduction, or projectiles [which may include, but are not limited to; arrows, bombs, artillery shells, missiles, bullets, snowballs, hand grenades, buckshot, BB's, flares, shrapnel, liquid-filled balloons, torpedoes, knives, stones, spears, swords, maces, pikes, clubs, tomatoes, tomatoes in tins, thermonuclear warheads, and/or shooting-stars or bits of Mir that never properly came down], or any other event that we couldn't think of yet to write of here. Other restrictions may, therefore, almost certainly apply.

Further, I'm not exactly flush with cash, so even if in spite of this disclaimer I was still (hypothetically) held liable, you probably still wouldn't be able to get much out of me. So save your legal fees and give them to a worthy charity instead. (I take bank or travelers cheques).

Whilst every care is taken, I'm are definitely not responsible for spelling, grammar, or bad links. It's a result of our skewed educational system. As, well, it's common knowledge that many computer specialists can't spell; that's why they invented spell-checkers.

Liability:

Any errors will be corrected when I get around to it. Azcompuguy.com assumes no liability for any errors, omissions or nocturnal emissions that may occur while you view this site. We are definitely not responsible for any access or connection charges that you may incur from a telecommunications, Internet Service Provider, Internet Cafe, parking infringements or overdue library fines that you may occur whilst viewing this site.

The user (that's you), agrees to indemnify and hold harmless the author of this Website azcompuguy.com (that's "me") and my company and any employees; for any loss, Liability, Claim, Damage, and Expenses (including reasonable attorney's fees) arising from or in connection with the use of, or viewing of the content on, this website. Once again, let us restate that we assume no liability either expressed or implied from the use or viewing of azcompuguy.com.

Content Advisory Notice:

Warning: This site may contain descriptions of, or advocate one or more of the following: fun, frivolity, humor, satire, self-development, the age of Aquarius, the existence of Extra-Terrestrials, soporific philosophizing, thought-provoking comment, bad grammar, deviant or other sexual conduct in non-violent contexts, or the consumption of recreational pharmaceuticals. ...But then again, it may not. Who knows?, since this site's pages are always being updated whenever I feel the urge, I might put up something one day and take it down the next. And then change my mind again. You, or the laws in your country or territory, may be quite narrow minded, and take a different view of classification, in which case, again, you view it entirely at your own risk and responsibility. Furthermore, at least one of the links found on this site may be of an adult nature, which requires that the viewer be at least 18 years of age in most cases, and 21 for others, in order to view the material in question. All responsibility for age verification and adherence to the law falls directly on you, the consumer. The owner of this Website can not, and will not, be held responsible for underage (minor) viewers entering sites normally legally forbidden by their youth. The author strongly supports Freedom of Expression on the Internet, and encourage adults to take a pro-active role with regards to minors under their supervision, and supports the use of safe-surfing software to assist in this. azcompuguy.com or myself will not be held responsible for anyone's discomfort when viewing the material found on this site. After all, I've just warned you. All responsibility concerning age, suitability of material, or anything else falls directly upon the viewer, not the author(s), and I will in no way be held responsible for damages or liability of any kind, either implied or explicitly engendered.

Similarly, this site may contain discussion's about sensitive subjects like Democracy, Freedom, Authority, rule of law, Religion, and Cryptography. Participating in discussion about these subjects, or more specifically, the export/import and/or use of strong cryptography software, providing cryptography hooks or hyperlinks, following them, or even just communicating technical details about cryptography software is illegal in some parts of the world. So, please pay close attention to any speech restrictions, export/import and/or use laws which apply to you. Website azcompuguy.com or myself cannot be held liable for any violations you make here. And whilst I might not agree with such restrictions, I don't want to see you in trouble. So be careful, this legal notice is making it clear that it is your responsibility.

This site is not recommended for children, adults, senior citizens, animals, insects, plants, or dead people.

For best results, avoid doing stupid things.

Grievances Procedure:

I don't take complaints very well. so you could be pretty well be out of luck here.

If, however, you just really, absolutely, positively, need to complain about something regarding my website, and your favorite crying shoulder is currently unavailable, you may use the Contact Me option, which appears at the bottom of every page on this site (and in this very sentence in fact), to drop me a line.

Kudos Procedure:

If you wish to say something about how much you like this site. Please feel free to drop me a line via any of the Contact Me links, appearing at the bottom of every page of this site. And yes, you guessed it, you can click on the link in the previous sentence to do the same job. (Ahh, the joys of hypertext.)

Conclusion:

By now you hopefully have the idea that it's not my fault, my ass is covered, and that you shouldn't be doing anything with my website beyond viewing it and having a good giggle.

Well that's what you should have gotten from this page. (There'll be a test on this at the end of the semester).

So there you go. See. That wasn't so bad. A dash of legalese; a pinch of information you already had; topped off with a bit of legalistic formatting. And, voila! Don't you feel better? I do.

Which is why there's more!...

If any part or parts of this notice is determined to be illegal, illegible, badley spelled, inaccurate, unpleasant, un-clear, offensive, of foul of odour, just plain silly, or otherwise legally ineffectual; only that part will be effected. The rest of this document will remain in force as a perfectly pristine legal disclaimer.
Pure as the mountain stream or driven snow. Got that?

azcompuguy.com reserves the right to change or amend this disclaimer at anytime, without notice, and have it retrospectively binding.

USAGE OR VIEWING OF THIS WEBSITE (azcompuguy.com) IS CONSTITUTED AS ACCEPTANCE OF ALL OF THESE TERMS

© 2005 azcompuguy.com  All rights reserved, all lefts preserved.

Do not write below this line!

But surely there should be some Fine Print?

Yes indeedy!, I'm glad you asked...

You also agree that this site, its directors, officers, employees, consultants, agents, or other representatives ("service providers") shall not be liable for any damage, loss, or expense of any kind arising out of or resulting from your possession or use of the products, any product obligations or any action or inaction of any vendor regardless of whether such liability is based in tort, contract, or otherwise. in no event, shall this site or any of its service providers be liable to you for any indirect, special, incidental, consequential, or punitive damages (including without limitation, loss of profits, loss or corruption of data, loss of goodwill, work stoppage, computer failure or malfunction, or interruption of business), with respect to this information, other products, services, or materials offered, sold, or displayed on this website, your use of this website generally, or otherwise in connection with this agreement, regardless of whether this site or any of its service providers have been advised of the possibility of such damages. nobody reads this stuff anyways, so we can say anything we want and you will just agree and click through it. if you are reading all of this, we suggest you get a life. if the foregoing limitation is held to be unenforceable, and good luck on finding anybody who will try to push that against our lawyers, the maximum liability of this site and its service providers to you shall not exceed the amount of the fees paid by you for the products, or other products or services you have ordered through this website, or $2.00, whichever is less. Some jurisdictions do not allow the limitation or exclusion of liability for certain damages, so the above limitations and exclusions may not apply to you to the extent such jurisdiction's law is applicable to this agreement. in any event, you will not get more than the minimum amount mentioned above, if you get that; and believe you me, given our budget, that will probably take a lawsuit. Do not use printouts of this site to line cribs. Don't put it in your mouth; you don't know where it's been. You're not supposed to be printing it out anyway since the start of this disclaimer prohibited you from doing so. Don't forget, in the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device. Even though oxygen is flowing, the plastic bag may not inflate. Do not pass "GO", do not collect $200. Watch your step. These are atypical results, your income may vary. Use of this page as a marital aid nullifies warranty. Uranium-236 not included. As with real appliances, some toy stoves *will* burn your careless ass. Harmful if swallowed with massive quantities of vodka. No disrespect intended. Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously. Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile. Some dismemberment may occur. Please remain seated until the site comes to a complete stop. All material is subject to change, and all change belongs to the vendor. Promotional discounts may not apply at all times. Some restrictions may apply. Frames not available in all areas. Views expressed by our guests may not be the same as the webmaster. All fees may be sent directly to the email address listed above. The information listed here in the "Fine Print" may not be a binding statement of seriousness. For a direct link from this page to yours, do whatever you have to according to all rules and regulations of the HTML code in your state or nationality. Surf Boards not required within the area of this site (unless of one of the Motorola Cable Modem range. Average serving size per viewing = 1. This site has less than one calorie per serving. Site contains 100% of daily something. Site should not be viewed alone, separately, or in the company of majors. Java Errors need to be reported to Java the Hutt. All articles and subsections (hereafter known as articles) of this legal disclaimer for azcompuguy.com (hereafter called only disclaimer) are judicially perfect rules for abidement by all parties involved directly or otherwise in the use and subsequent negligence of this web site. If any complaints are brought forward for the attention of the distressed parties and understanding is not a factor, then counsel will be avoided at all costs. Additionally, all complaints or inquiries brought forth towards azcompuguy.com or it's authors or owners are to be logged in a straightforward fashion that requires less than one minute of time to read and comprehend. If an inquiry takes any additional time, the balance of time will be charged to the inquirer's user account at $98.42 per hour pro-rated and billed by 30 second intervals. Later retrieval of the inquires account and account information may be withheld until the balance is remitted in full. You have the right to remain silent as anything you say may be recorded for later regurgitation when you least expect it. You have the right to an attorney, although the nearly zero percent possibility of getting a helpful attorney constitute national fraud of the highest order. If you do not understand these rights as I have written them to you, then you have the right to a complimentary re-reading at a cost of only $1.84 per word. Other costs incurred while using this website are not the responsibility of azcompuguy.com or any other of the site's curators. All arrangements possible for the payment of debts to azcompuguy.com will be made in great haste as everyone wants a piece of the pie these days and we are no exception. Your money is as good as anyone's and we plan on getting it one way or another so don't even try to walk away with your wallets or purses intact. Just leave them. You'll save us and you a lot of trouble. Gibberish. That's what this whole fine-print section is for the most part. I know it and now you know it, but it still looks good on paper. I find it very interesting how many other web sites feel the need to have a disclaimer. Especially amusing are the "joke" disclaimers for illegal Warez sites. They're probably not jokes to the site maintainers, but I think they are. They usually pronounce that all illegal materials on the site are simply there to be looked at and not stolen or something similar. Some even tell you to not enter the site what-so-ever right before displaying a nice big welcoming "ENTER" button. The information listed here is not a statement of seriousness. For a direct link from this page to yours, do whatever you have to according to all rules and regulations of the HTML code in your state or nationality. Surf Boards not required within the area of this site (unless of one of the Motorola Cable Modem range). Average serving size per viewing = 1. This site has less than one calorie per serving. Site contains 100% of daily something. Site should not be viewed alone, separately, or in the company of majors.Java Errors need to be reported to Java the Hutt. You may remain silent. Everything you say, can and will be use against you in a court of law. Please read directions carefully. There will be a test tomorrow. We accept M/C, Visa/ American Express, and Discover Cards - just slide them into the floppy drive. If you hear music coming from this site it is not the fault of the webmaster. Satisfaction guaranteed unless you have a complaint. No C.O.D. shipments. Bien merci pour votre business! Keep out of the sun. This site has not yet rated. And yes, that'sour final answer. You are in the West Wing and this has been the weakest link. Well, don't you have too much time on your hands? To think that you actually went to the effort of figuring out a way to read this fine print. I am truly appalled that you bothered to read this far. Do you ever read the fine print on the back of your Dry Cleaning reciept this closely? I'll bet not. And their one's actually probably more important. Isn't there something that you could be doing that would be a better use of your time than reading fine print that doesn't actually have any significance? I think if you try really hard you could get out of that chair and put your brains to use in some really neat way. Give it a shot and let me know how it goes for you. I would like to see that I have helped one viewer become a better person. So far, I'm batting .000 and my chances of increasing that average are not looking so good. So help a guy out and got get a job for goodness sake.