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Burning Man - A Week of Radical Self Expression
 Please
take the time to read the
Describing Burning Man
story, as it was the text that
occupied this space for 4 years. It obviously gives the pre-cursor to this
new prose...
Here is an interesting look
back at what BM has meant to me and the lessons I have learned each
year... The first year '00 for me was the breakout year...I
was always an outgoing, social person, though I found myself feeling
very alone in a crowd of 26,000. I was not in a position with myself to
meet people easily or to start conversations with those I did not know.
On the other hand Kathe was all about everything I found not possible
for me and I leaned on and depended on her very much during that week.
It took me about six months after returning the first year to process
all I had witnessed at BM, I knew I needed to return to be part of that
awesome energy and confront some more things about myself.
In '01 the Playa had given me a relationship as we
had met Theresa the year before and she moved in with Kathe & I about 2
months prior to the Playa that year. I had also taken a more leadership
role in PolyParadise and found that to be the place I felt most
comfortable. It was easier to have persons come to me for help because
of that leadership role and then with what seemed like no effort on my
part I was able to create friendships almost immediately. PolyParadise
that year had several Gay or Bi men in its ranks and at the time I was
not comfortable around such individuals. I was not prejudice mind you
just uncomfortable, especially when I noticed them 'Noticing' me.
In '02 the stage had been set for me Pre-Playa as the
relationship with Theresa was disintegrating, the Playa had me facing
issues about schedules and what it means to care about a partner or
friend regardless of involvement. I as well took the Lead role as Camp
Daddy that year and found the outpouring of gratitude for my efforts
from my fellow campers to be one of the most awesome experiences I have
ever had. I had found myself being much more comfortable around Gay or
Bi men that year and even found myself having some of the best
friendships and conversations with some of them.
Quite a shock to a guy who is 100% hetero...
In '03 as PolyParadise joined Shangri-La Village my
lessons were going to be about Expectation. What it is I expect from
myself as well as what I expect from others. I was severely let down by
some of the Village elders as they dropped the ball on some of the
things they promised to take care of Pre-Playa...I as well had several
similar experiences...I had had an awesome Pre-Playa correspondence with
a women about everything under the sun...I spent the ENTIRE week trying
to hook up with her and was able to do so...On Friday night I caught a
glimpse of her at the Western Regional Talent show and went and
introduced myself and I got about 3.7 seconds of acknowledgement from
her and then she was Exit Stage Left...A few months later I began to
analyze what had happened and how was it I felt so let down...I came to
understand a bit more about the BM Mantra...'Have NO Expectation'...I
had thought that referred to only the Playa and BM in general, I became
aware that it applies to people as well...I also began to understand and
shed some of my own issues about 'Only' working or interacting with
people for some type of GAIN, instead of just enjoying the experience or
interaction, no matter how brief...
Burning Man & the Playa have allowed me to understand
what Community really is and what it takes in effort to build such
Community. It has shown me that there are persons all over the globe
that have the same ideals, thoughts, dreams as I do and to be able to
come to a place like BM to be able to share them together has been one
inspiration after another. What lessons and growth opportunities await
me this year have me on the edge of my seat...
Without fail, as I drive down the last miles towards
Gerlach, I get butterflies in my stomach...wondering in anticipation
what this year will teach me.
What I have NEVER been able to do is predict what I
needed to learn...
In '04 I have realized I have truly been blessed in
where I am and who I get to share it with...Thanks for being part of it.
The Beginning for us...The Middle for Others
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Burning Man CHANGED my life and the life that Kathe &
I share together...We shall never be the same...
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I have said of Burning Man..."Burning Man will change
your life, You just do not know how yet"...I have always thought that
this life-changing experience would always be positive....I now see that
it can also be the opposite...
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Burning Man is a 29-hour a day party for a week...
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It is about looking at your 'Box' and deciding if it
must remain a Square.
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It has shown me that building 'Community'
takes
effort, shared effort...
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Bringing multitudes of people together from
divergent parts of the Globe and creating a shared safe space to learn
and grow together.
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The Playa is about discovery of self...
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The discovery of those we just met or those we
have known for a lifetime
The time I spend on the Playa is really not for me,
although I have an AMAZING time, it has become a place for me to really
Give & Give & Give and only expect in return that other people have fun
and Learn & Grow from my efforts. I do make sure to take time for myself
and get the MOST out being at Burning Man and on The Playa, but I spend
a considerable time creating a Theme Camp & running a Village. Though
none of that would be possible if I did not have the Help, Love &
Support from my wife of 12 yrs. At my side.
She and I have taken very different routes in being
part of BRC & its volunteer efforts.
I am Camp Daddy & Village Elder, I am a Muckity Muck
with Greeters and do 3 Kamikaze Shifts from 2a-6a the first 3
nights....That is after staying up for a few days before getting ready
and then the 20 hour drive from Phx to the Playa....I also am part of
the Burning Man Web Team, a Liaison for the Extranet Project and manage
350 Users, I am the Web Master of PolyParadise &
AZBurners Regional Web Sites....
Kathe on the other hand has been involved as a
Manager of the Bus Depot, Stage Coordinator for the Western Region Show
in Center Camp on Friday Night, Echelon with The Rangers and working
with the Regional Information Booth...This year she was invited into the
Inner Circle to watch 'The Man' Burn....She is the Kitchen
Coordinator of PolyParadise.
Each of us in our own ways have made significant
commitments to the Playa & its residents as well as BMORG and our
Phoenix Burning Man Community...
As I get set to turn 40....(10/27) I am
VERY Proud of who I
am and what I have become....
OK Enough of that Bullshit...
Other Lessons learned....
Think about that...
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I do best when I lead...I believe I do better and
feel better participating in activities as a Leader.
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Poly Lesson learned...If as a Poly Partner you are
unable to see me around other Partners, kissing or hugging or otherwise
embracing other Partners, than we are not compatible...Plain and
simple...I will NOT walk around with a cue card of who does not like who
and who can be around when this person is here and this and that...WE
ALL NEED TO PLAY NICE TOGETHER IN THE SANDBOX!!!
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This being our 5th Burn, it was amazing to see BM &
The Playa through the eyes of a Virgin. It was even more amazing as
these Virgins were also Poly Partners or Poly Partners Significant
Others.
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A connection with someone does not need to go past
where it starts to be a fulfilling experience or lasting friendship.
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No matter how busy one might be with Playa
commitments or other Poly Partners...Time with your PRIMARY
Partner should not and cannot be sacrificed.
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Do not internalize to your own self-destruction.
What lessons have you learned from Burning
Man & the Playa?
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